An honest talk with a good friend.

In spite of Ava's presence, I have been single now for 38 years. I have never really found love. Not real love, just convenient answers to loneliness, none lasting over 6 months. So I was wondering why, what the heck is wrong.

So crying I went to my friend Lori's today. I can always count on Lori, she has been my best friend since we were 13 and 12 years old. That is a very long time. Needless to say, Lori has seen it all, and heard it all from me, as I have from her. So when I asked her some pointed questions, she was truthful with me.

So, its all well and good to sit here and blog, but there are some things to be worked on as well. So I am wondering if I should split this blog into two. One blog to deal with the butterfly emergence, and this one to deal with turning my name into a brand.

What do you think?

It was slow going this morning

Every morning there is rain it is increasingly harder to get up. It must be a getting older thing, or just a me thing. Ava on the other hand had no such difficulty, she was up with the first hint of light playing away with my face. I tried to remain in that wonderful world between sleep and awake, and every time I got close Ava would yell or kiss me, or poke me. She is also very good at stealing the covers. At any rate she was successful in her attempts to wake me, and get me resentfully to the kitchen to feed her breakfast.

So here I sit, studying about blogging. Believe it or not, creating a blog, a successful blog requires you to know a good deal about things that I have never really thought much about. Thinks like RSS feeds, I have one now, and SEO (Search Engine Optimization), social bookmarking (Yay StumbleUpon), tagging, page rank, contextual advertising, traffic statistics. That is a short list. I have been reading people like: WWdn: In Exile, Problogger, and The Blogging Experiment.

All of this studying is the first part of the plan toward creating my own brand. The first phase is this blog. This blog is going to be an introduction to me, and why I am branding myself. Not only will it be a vehicle to chronicle the journey, successful or not, to branding myself, but its also a glimpse into why I want to do this in the first place.

Never mind that this project is the result of many, many, people's suggestions that I really need to write a book, Aaron, Darlene, and Brian being notable for this, but so many others have pushed me to do something similar. Aaron is actually a professional blogger as well, he blogs at Square State. I get his feed and read what he writes as well. So, having all of this inspiration around, what else could I have done. I succumbed.

Thanks for the inspiration, people and the gentle nudges that have got this whole ball rolling.

Why do I blog?

I have maintained a blog for a while now, I used to use a Livejournal, but I have had to let that one die because of the flamers and others who just made it a negative experience. I started blogging in January 2003, and I was a fairly regular blogger there, and I have missed writing.
I write for several reasons. I like the way it clears my head. It makes room for other thoughts. It also helps me to maintain a perspective. I look back into the archives of that blog and I can see those things that upset me, and they mean so little to me now. But its also good to see the dreams that motivated me, still do.
I blog because its vanity. You know it is.
I blog because its like a slow conversation with friends I have never met, but hope to become acquainted with.
I blog because you read.
I blog because I read you, and want to reply, or comment. Or just inspire you because you have inspired me.

I blog for posterity.

Gratitude

Again this morning I get started with my gratitude list.

1) I am grateful for the time I have to watch my daughter grow, develop, and the chance it offers me to help her grow in to a good person.

2) Even though I live in a building that is being ghetto-ized by its newer residents, I have a roof over my head, and a sanctum that I can retreat to when things get overwhelming.

3) I am grateful that I have this blog, that I created something that I can put my time and effort into, even if it helps just one person, I have done something.

4) I am grateful for my success as a writer, as a speaker, and that it has allowed me to make some really wonderful changes.

5) I am grateful that I have the story that I do, it makes me really interesting. :)

I like making this list because its a five minute reminder of how much I truly have to celebrate.

One year

Last night in a fit of creativity I decided to turn myself into my own brand. What does this mean? I decided that I want to write, and speak, and help people. I know that I can do this, and this page is going to be one of my routes.
Every month I will set myself a new goal, a new habit to get into that will work towards increasing both the traffic on this page, and will work toward this goal. Right now, I have the goal in mind, and I have the start. The way between, the road map, is not there yet though.
Not only will I be journaling regularly here, and turning this into a money making blog, but I will also be filling paper journals every day. In one year I hope to have a shelf full of paper journals with all kinds of ideas, doodles, stories and poems in them. The kind of raw creativity that will allow this project to continue.
Most importantly, I will not listen to those people who will try to crush this dream, or make this project not come to fruition. I have seen this as a success, and I will be holding on to that as I walk through this next year.

So this blog ultimately is about how to take one year to become your own brand. Let's walk the journey together.

Now I am off to work more on filling in the road map.